There are many shoulds I could be bowing down to today. I had a GP appointment early this morning and then nothing else in my diary for the rest of the day. Therefore:
I should be working.
I should be earning money.
I should be attending to chores.
I should be studying to improve my craft.
I should be doing paperwork.
I should be DOING something...
But what other obligations do I have to myself? Ones that I'm not allowing any credence? It's been a very difficult few days. There has been upset and upheaval. Stress and sorrow. So maybe there are some different shoulds? Therefore:
I should give time and space to my feelings.
I should take the opportunity to heal.
I should do something today just for me.
I should go and seek solace.
I should have a day of doing nothing.
I should take care of myself.
I should sit and watch the sea because it always makes me feel better.
These are all shoulds but we seem, as a society, to lend more credence to the first group of shoulds than the second. 99% of our perceived shoulds don't even belong to us. We've picked them up and subsumed them as someone else's idea of right and wrong. We're great at being busy, serving these external shoulds but never busy enough serving our internal needs.
So, today, I will sit and watch the sea, because it's what I need.
So here I am, because I really should take care of myself.